Birds & Bees

8 mins

All I could hear was the sound of my heart pounding as I explored the app.

Mia, one of my friends from the Bay Area Recreational Softball League, asked me to be a beta tester for the new app her start-up was building. “We want to be first to market.” I even had to sign a non-disclosure agreement before they would send me the app. It was serious business.

“You’ll catch on quick—it’s pretty simple,” she told me. “But let’s keep the premise a surprise. I want to hear your honest reactions, from signup to when you’re finished, okay?”

I got the beta invite for Birds & Bees. I tapped the link, and the app downloaded on my phone.

I launched Birds & Bees, and it walked me through the signup process. I took a selfie to upload as my profile photo. I entered my name, gender, nickname, email, and password. The app made it extremely clear my name would be private. I approved Location Services. All pretty standard. It wanted a payment method. I typed in my credit card details.

Then it asked me what kind of sexual encounters I was interested in. My cheeks got warm. The gender options were male, female, non-binary, trans, and some I wasn’t even aware of. I selected female. Next up was body size. No preference. Then onto ethnicity. Again, no preference. Age—no preference. The final options were kinks—foot fetish, anal, BDSM, role-play, etc. I left them all turned on.

By the time I finished setting up my profile, I had begun to get a sense of what the app was for. I had heard murmurs about some changes to California’s laws for sex workers, but I didn’t know the exact details. Mia knew I was single and sexually modest, so I guess she wanted someone new to the world of sex work to test the app.

The main screen of the app was a map showing my location as a blue dot in the center. Little pins popped up around me with pictures of women in them. I tapped a few, bringing up their profiles. The first person was an older white woman with brunette hair wearing a nightgown. Three dollar signs were next to her nickname, “Dominique.” I swiped through her photos, most of them with her holding a whip, dressed in black vinyl lingerie. She was sexy, that’s for sure, but too adventurous for me.

The next profile I opened from the map was a younger black woman with a shaved head. “You’ve never seen sexier toes then these,” her bio read. Her second photo was her feet, and they were delicate, painted a light green. I wasn’t really up for that either.

The third profile, and the one I ended up selecting, was a curvy woman with a septum piercing covered in tattoos with black hair. What can I say? I prefer ink. Her nickname was Raven, and she had two dollar signs next to her name. “Up for anything, but no kissing.” I’m not sure I wanted to kiss either, so no qualms from me.

I tapped the schedule button. The app said she was available now. It asked me what I was looking for. Handjob, blowjob, intercourse, anal, fetish play, and so on. Next to each item was her rate. Not quite ready to commit to anything more experience, I selected the cheapest option—handjob with dirty talk, finish on breasts—from the list. Birds & Bees asked for the meetup location, and I approved my apartment building’s address. I wrote a note about how to use the callbox. The app then requested to charge my card $60, which I approved.

“Raven’s ETA is approximately 37 minutes,” the app said.

I started sweating. My cock hardened. I’d never paid for sex before. I never had a problem with the idea, but it seemed like something I’d never do in my entire life. Hell, I’ve never been to a strip club.

I paced around my apartment, tidying up the little messes that had been accumulating over the last few weeks. I drank a big glass of water, took a deep breath, and sat on my couch.

Bzzzzzz! I jumped up, startled. I walked over to the intercom. “It’s Raven from Birds & Bees.” I unlocked the door, and she entered the building. About a minute later, she knocked on my apartment door.

“Hi,” I said, hardly able to look her in the eye. She was wearing tight black jeans, a black t-shirt, and a black denim jacket, with a black tote bag slung over her shoulder.

“Nice to meet you,” she said.

“I-I’m new to all this. My friend works at Birds & Bees and asked me to test it.”

“Cool,” she said. Raven looked around my apartment. “Nice place you got here.”

“Can I get you anything? Something to drink or some food?”

“I’m good, thanks. Let’s get to it. I’ve got another appointment after this. All these new users are keeping me busy. Just a handjob, right?”

“Yup,” I said.

“Well, you pick the spot.”

I walked over to the couch. Raven got down on her knees, took off her jacket, and slid off her shirt. Her prominent love handles and bountiful breasts aroused me. Her chest was covered with a mandala tattoo, both of her arms with sleeve tattoos.

Raven unbuckled my belt and took off my pants and underwear. My penis stood right up, relieved of no longer being held back. “What a sexy cock,” she said matter-of-factly, grabbing it. Her hand was cold at first. She smelled of lavender.

“How’s that feel, you dirty boy? Do you like it when I rub your hard cock? I’m so wet right now.”

Raven knew what she was doing, that much was certain from the beginning. She rubbed the head of my penis with her thumb, then she’d stroke fast and hard, then go in slow-motion with almost no pressure, alternating back and forth. Once in a while she’d massage my scrotum ever so softly with her other hand.

She kept talking dirty, but I tuned it out, studying the tattoos on her arms. There was a moon, a bird, a cat, a ring of waves. Lost in her tattoos, her scent, and the pleasure of her hands working my cock, I got closer to orgasming faster than intended.

“I’m going to come soon,” I said.

Raven got closer to me and stroked faster. I looked at her face. She was staring right at me. My heart fluttered. My ass tightened. Every ounce of pressure in my body was relieved, and my semen sprayed all over Raven’s breasts.

“How was that, you dirty boy?”

“Amazing,” I said, breathing heavily. “Let me get you a towel, sorry for the mess.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got one.” Raven reached into her tote bag and pulled out a hand towel. “Where’s the bathroom?” I pointed over toward it. I pulled on my boxers and pants. She walked back out not long after and put on her shirt and jacket.

“I really enjoyed that,” I said. “Thanks.”

“Glad to hear it. Hope to you see you again soon,” she said as she winked. “Have a good one.”

Raven left my apartment, the transaction complete. My heart was still pounding, my head was swimming. I grabbed my phone and opened Birds & Bees. It popped up right away, asking for a review. I gave Raven five stars and a $10 tip. Was the handjob worth $70? I’m not an expert on the monetary value of sex, but I had a nice time. Money well spent.

I told Mia about the experience the next day at a coffee shop, and she was pleased that it went so well.

“Are you going to use it again?” she asked.

“Sure, I don’t see why not. Next time I’m in the mood, I’ll give it another go.”

“Why don’t you try something more adventurous next time? You’re more vanilla than I imagined,” she said, laughing.